


Under Watchful Eyes

by blueuonia



Category: The Devil All the Time (2020)
Genre: F/M, Teen Romance, tdatt, the devil all the time fanfic, tom holland character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueuonia/pseuds/blueuonia
Summary: The reader and Arvin try to have some fun by the lake but find themselves under the judgemental eyes of their towns new reverend, Preston Teagardin.
Relationships: Arvin Russell/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 54





	1. First Sight

Arvin’s hands felt hot on your skin as he gripped your waist. The moonlight was shining through the window as he looks at your perfect breast. It was cold and dark outside, but inside his car; it was warm with foggy windows and both of you out of your breath from how much little air you had gotten in between kisses. You sat on top of his lap straddling him as your hands comb through his hair “Arvin...” you breathe with a smile on your face “Are you just going to look?”

He can’t help but smile at your teasing voice, his eyes coming up to meet yours “I’m sorry, doll, you just look so good,” he says. You giggle and bring your swollen lips to his. His hands glide down the sides of your hiked up skirt and one dip onto your inner thigh, he brushes his fingers against your damp panties making you moan into his mouth. He pulls back a teasing smirk on his lips “Your so wet babydoll, you need me to touch you? All you gotta do is ask.”

You brush your lips against his “Please baby, touch me? I need you...” almost immediately he flips you over onto your back and you squeal. Arvin lets out a laugh too as he breathlessly lay on top of you, his lips kiss your neck and he slides your skirt off of your legs playfully tossing it out the one cracked window. 

You and Arvin don’t notice the sleek, grey car outside and the pastor watching you from afar. 

“Hey!” you say shoving him slightly “That better not be dirty,” you pout. Arvin shakes his head and kisses down your neck to your stomach, it’s awkward but all he’s focused on is getting a taste of your delicious pussy. 

He looks up at you when he presses a finger on your clit, the pressure making you moan “You were sayin’?” you glare, but it comes dull as your eyes beg for him to touch you more. Arvin pulls you down slightly so his mouth can better reach your cunt, and he delves his tongue into your folds. Your hands find his hair again pulling at the strand as he licks at you tasting your juices. Arvin has your legs over his shoulders and your feet press against the ceiling as your back arches at the pleasure. 

Arvin removes one of his hands off of your hip, holding you up with his one, bringing the hand to your cunt and sliding in a finger. “Oh!” you moan making Arvin chuckle the vibrations hit your clitoris as he moves his lips to suck on your bud. He sucks and kisses your clit as he pumps his finger in and out, sliding another one inside of you. Arvin curls them up to reach that spot and you whine his name. You can feel the knot tightening inside of you as Arvin doesn’t relent, but it’s all ruined when a loud bang outside the car door makes both of you jump. Before you can turn your head to see what it is Arvin throws his jacket that was lying on the car floor over you. 

“What the fuck?” he curses and glares out to the window. Finally seeing who it was, you cover yourself even more than your eyes, Reverend Teagardin. Arvin opens the door tossing you your blouse as he does “What the hell gives you the right to come to peek on us?” you can practically hear him stopping towards the reverend. 

“Don’t swear at me boy!” he says angrily “I wasn’t peeking! The two of you did your sinful act out here, and I have to put a stop to it. The lord does not approve of this. Imagine what your parents would say, your grandmother would roll over in embarrassment,” the words came out like venom of the reverend's mouth, his eyes kept going back to you that frantically tried to remember where your skirt was. Bending down and picking it up “You looking for this girl?” he holds up your skirt as you nod hesitantly “You ought to be ashamed. Out here in public not only for the lord’s eyes to see but everyone else. Your mother raised you better than this-”

“Don’t you try to sermon her!” Arvin growled “Your the adult man here terrorizing-”

“Terrorizing? You listen here, boy...” their arguing faded out as you grabbed your skirt and hastily put it on. You could feel tears threatening to spill out at the humiliations as the thoughts in your head stirred until they were interrupted when you saw Arvin shove Reverend Teagardin. 

“Don’t fucking say that about her! I’ll knock you on your ass I don’t care if you are a pastor.” 

Quickly climbing out of the car, you ran around and grabbed Arvin's arm before he challenged the reverend, who was quickly coming back to fight back. “Arvin, let’s just go,” you begged.

“Y/N get in the car,” he growled “I ain’t going to let this phony talk about you like your some kind of who-”

“Please,” you whispered, “I just want to go,” your voice trembled and Arvin turned to look at you. The anger in his face immediately fell when he saw your upset face. With a nod, he gently grabbed your arm to bring you back to the car and opening the door for you. Ignoring the threats coming from the reverend, Arvin got in the car and sped away. One of his hand sat on the skin of your leg starting off stroking your skin as to soothe you but as you calmed, his anger came back and he gripped you harshly. 

Looking at him you could see his jaw was clutched completely, his lips pursed, and the skin on his knuckles had turned white from his grip on the steering wheel. You put a hand on his arm “Arvin, pull over.” He did so without a word and turned the key so that the car didn’t run. After sitting in silence for a few more minutes you spoke up again “Can we please talk?” 

Arvin turned to meet your gaze and run a hand over his face before clearing his throat “Are you okay?” his voice was hoarse. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say with a small smile “Are you?”

He scoffs “I wanna go back in kick his teeth in,” Arvin says through his teeth “But,” he looks at you “I won’t. I gotta get you home, don’t I?”

You nod but stop him when he goes to start the car again instead of moving over to lay your head on his chest. “We’re already in trouble, might as well come up with a plan on what we’re gonna do when Reverend Teagardin tells my parents and your grandma about what we were doing,” you say holding onto his shirt “Or what we’re gonna do when everyone at school finds out.”  
Arvin strokes your hair "Whatever happens, we got each other and you know I ain’t gonna let anyone run their mouth off to you. Including Teagardin," he looks down at you "I love you."  
You nod with a smile "I love you too." After a few moments, the two of you separate and Arvin starts the car again, driving you home. He lets you keep his jack to fend off the cold and while he watches you walk up the hill to your door, he prays for the right time to come. 

The next morning when you walk down the stairs dreading the fact you have to go to church, you wince when you see the harsh gaze of your mother. Her lips are pursed, and she breathes in her cigarette, tapping her foot, before puffing out smoke "Do you have any guesses on who called the house this morning?"  
"Grandma?" you say hopefully.  
Slapping her hand against the counter she comes towards you "Don't play dumb with me! Do you know what kind of mouthful I just got from Reverend Teagardin about those - those depraved acts with that Russell boy? You should be ashamed of this. Just a couple days here and what does he think of us? He thinks we raised some floozy!"  
"Mom!" you screech "Arvin and I have been together for over a year what we do isn't any of yours or his business!"  
"But it's the lords!" she says "And you know what he thinks about girls like that. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? And that Russell boy, you ain't seeing him anymore! You never would've done this before him, and I ain't going to let him corrupt you any more than he already has."  
"He's my boyfriend you can't just-"  
"No backtalk young lady. Now go get dressed for church. You're gonna pray harder than you ever have and after this, you're gonna apologize to Reverend Teagardin about your actions."

Arvin's morning had gone no better. The reverend had called his house too and told his grandma all about what he was doing to you and how he tried to fight him, along with all the cursing. Grandma woke him up by throwing him out of the bed, and one thing led to another. The fight went from sinful behavior to him spouting - and I quote - "blasphemy". The car ride was silent. Arvin looked for you once he and his family arrived for church and frowned when he saw your mom glare at him before dragging you into the building. Reverend Teagardin standing by the door, watching. He ignored him as he walked into the church earrings a swat from his grandma. You gave him a small smile when he came in which he returned, not that you got to see it with your mom lecturing you in a quiet voice. 

After everyone came in Reverend Teagardin came in to begin his sermon. He cleared his throat "Today, I wanted to talk about something that is plaguing society. Especially the youngins," he started "Eve in the garden. Noah, naked, the sinful acts that the devil makes tempt us. The acts that bring shame onto our families," he looks at you and Arvin. Arvin's gaze locked onto you as he watched you uncomfortably grab at your sleeves and shift in your sit. He felt the anger rise in him by the moment as the reverend kept talking. The reverend looked over the crowd "We mustn't fall to temptation regardless of what we think it is. It's all delusions. Some girl gets a feeling for a fella and lets him have her holy gift," Teagardin looks at you "And once we fall to sin. There isn't a way to come back unless we cleanse our bodies of it all. And only one thing can do it: the lord's love."  
Arvin's foot tapped against the ground as the crowd cheers him, but you sit, hands sweaty and your gaze on the ground. He knows that your upset and he wants nothing more to walk over there and grab you, let you know that he was full of shit, that you had nothing to be ashamed about. But he couldn't. And when the service was finally over, your mom pulls you over to the reverend and his grandma grabbed his arm to stop him from going over. 

"You have to take your sister to school and when it's done, you take her to the cemetery - and you stay in the car - and then you come straight home."

Lenora practically had to pull Arvin out of the church as he was forced to leave you behind. The last thing he saw being the reverend hand being put on your back before he led you to the back of the church. Ready to consult you for your sins.  
It was colder in Teagardins office. You clutched onto your cardigan as you sat down, his intent gaze staring through you. He sat up "Y/N, why don't we start simple?" he asked quietly. Leaning forward he gave you a reassuring smile "How long have you and that Russell boy been going out?"  
"A little over a year," you say anxiously.  
"That's a long time for someone as young as you. You know, teenage boys can be very demanding and I just want you to know-"  
"That's not how it happened!" your tone sounds forced as you've tired from saying this "Why is it that everyone seems to think I'm some kind of victim in this? I wanted to have sex last night, Reverend. That was my choice. It wasn't just Arvin," you say fast as the reverend looks at you with no expression.  
He leans back in his chair "When did the two of you start having sex?" he asks bluntly.  
Looking anywhere but him you stutter out "A few months into our relationship, maybe. I don't know..."  
"What did you do first?" he asks "Has he used your mouth before? Had his way with your body completely?"  
Feeling practically naked under his gaze you squirm in your seat "Yes - I mean - I guess... I don't want to have this conversation," you try to stand up from your seat but he stands up and grabs you arm.  
"You have to repent, your mother wants you too and I can help you," Reverend Teagardin says one of his hands go onto your leg "You have to show yourself to the Lord, Y/N, show yourself," his hand journeys up underneath your dress and you gasp. Pulling your arm away and running towards the door he grabs at you again.  
"Get off of me!" you pull away heading outside. Ignoring the pleas of your mother you run as fast as you can trying to get away from the church. Your heart beats furiously and you don't know how far you run but the church is no longer in sight. Walking down the road you realize where you are, your back at the lake. You remember why you and Arvin picked this spot. He always said it helped him when he was deep in thought. So you go and you sit there thinking about what had just happened and then you heard a car. The rumbling of its engine and you can tell it's coming this way so you run off again, hiding behind the tree and peeking out. 

Who could it be?


	2. The Entire Town Is Watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arvin and Y/N find themselves together again and decide to keep their head up, but that's especially hard when you live in a small town where no secrets lie quiet.

The car ride home was the same as the ride to church: wordless. Arvin's hands clutched the steering wheel, and he stared with a stern gaze at the road ahead. Lenora wanted to say something, but she knew better not to. When Arvin was in a mood like this, it was almost always useless to calm him down. Unless it was you, somehow you always knew what to say. That or Arvin was so whipped that he just listened to you (and he didn't listen to anyone).  
When they finally arrived home, Arvin rushed inside, avoiding his Grams. Getting out of his church clothes, he thought about how likely it would be to get to the phone in the kitchen without his Grandma seeing. Then he thought about how likely it was that you'd even pick up or that your momma would let you talk to him. 

Not likely, he surmised. So with a glance downstairs, he tried to bolt to his car so he could wait for Lenora in peace. She never took too long to get ready. Just pick out her dress and then brush her hair. Lenora didn't wear makeup; she never believed women should paint their faces like that. Arvin hadn't seen his grandmother, so he thought he'd be okay, but after almost reaching the door, he heard her call out. 

"Now, Arvin, I know you aren't trying to sneak out with talking to me," she said. She was sat at the kitchen table with a disapproving look on her face. Pointing towards Arvin, she curved her fingers to herself, telling him to come to her. With a sigh, he followed, sitting down at the table.   
"Yes?" he asked, annoyed.   
"I know you're upset, but your gonna have to apologize to that priest-"  
"I ain't apologizing to that creep!"   
Grams shook her head at his stubbornness, so much like his father, "You will. He is a man of God, and you tried to fight him! Do you know how many looks I'm gonna get when I go out into town? You can't be behaving like that. I won't allow it. I'm not gonna let you run wild like those city kids," she finished before standing up. Pointing the finger at Arvin, she held a stern look, "Don't you fight with me, boy."  
Arvin sighed, defeated; he didn't want his grandmother to be looked at poorly. He gave her a short nod before standing up himself, "I gotta go to school," he mumbled. Grandma nods but grabs him before he leaves, gripping the sides of his shirt and tucking them in for him. Arvin let out a little laugh at it. He swore she got more persnickety every year she grew older.   
After that, she finally let Lenora and him leave for school. As they drove, Lenora smiled as she noticed Arvin's mood seemed to be better now. However, her smile faltered as Lenora saw Mrs. L/N car pass theirs. Arvin immediately took his eyes off the road to try and see Y/N. But she wasn't there. Lenora could see the change in Arvin's deposition as soon as he realized it; eyes back on the road, he gritted out, "Did you see her?"  
Lenora shook her head softly. "Maybe she was laying down?" she offered.  
Arvin's jaw tightened. "Her momma probably left her with that preacher," he growled. "I don't trust him."  
Lenora looks toward Arvin. "Why not? Pastor Teagardin seems nice."  
"Nice? He's a creep! I've seen how he's been looking at the girls. It ain't normal, Lenora," Arvin rants. "I don't want her left alone with him." 

As they pulled into the school parking lot, Lenora grabbed her bag and opened the door, waiting to hear Arvin's door shut too. When the click never hit her ears, she turned around, seeing Arvin still in the car. Lenora frowns, "Aren't you coming in, Arvin?"  
He shook his head, "I got something to do."  
"You aren't going back to fight that preacher, are you?" Lenora huffs, "You can't-"  
"I'm not gonna fight 'im, Lenora. I just got something to do, okay?" Arvin asks, starting the car. His eyes had a pleading look. "Just don't tell Grams, alright? I'll be back to pick you up when schools out."  
Lenora sighs with defeat, "Alright. I won't tell Grams."

He wasn't lying. Arvin did have something to do, and it didn't have to do with his bad feeling about that preacher. Arvin drove back to the lake that Reverend Teagardin had caught the two at for a specific reason. He lost an important thing there, an important box that held an essential ring for him. Arvin didn't intend to propose so soon. He wanted to wait 'til the summer came, and the two of you might've left town. With everything that happened, though, he could only imagine one way, your mother and father would let the two of you keep seeing each other. They were also stricter than his grandma, not too severe, but they followed his words when it came to God. 

So Arvin was going to make an honest woman out of you. The only problem being he had the box in his car from when he bought it, and now Arvin couldn't find it, he remembered how he hastily hid it when you two went on your date, and all he could imagine is it fell out. So he drove back to the dreaded lake pulling in and checking for the Reverend. 

Once he made sure the coast was clear, he got out of the car. Looking around the ground, Arvin didn't notice you when you stepped out from behind the tree you had hidden behind. You let out a breath when you realized it was Arvin, a smile etching itself on your face. Watching him closely, you saw him looking at the ground and bending down. What was he looking for?

"Arvin?" you called out. 

Arvin stood up immediately, and his head spun around until he saw you. He couldn't stop himself from smiling and coming towards you, and then he realized what he was holding and hastily threw it in the dashboard. You ran to him and threw your arms around him. Arvin reciprocating faster than he ever had, squeezing you gently. "Are you alright?" he breathed out.   
"Yes," you said immediately, "I am now, at least." You pulled away from Arvin, putting a hand on his cheek. "I missed you," you said quietly. Arvin was never too good with words, so he nods before bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, both of you deepening it quickly and your tongues caressing each other. When Arvin pulled away, he couldn't help but chuckle at the dreamy look on your face.   
You bit your lip, "What if someone sees us again?"

Arvin hadn't thought about that, but now you said that all he could think about is what would happen if Teagardin saw you two again. Undoubtedly, your parents would never let you see him. Grabbing your hand, he dragged you back into his car, and the two of you set off on a drive until you found somewhere else to stay. It was just a simple park, out of town where no one would see. You and Arvin held hands when you walked in, the two of you talking about your nights. You turn to him, "Do you like my new skirt?" it was off-topic, but you were smiling now genuinely smiling, so he didn't mind. 

Arvin smiles back at you. "You look prettier than Kelly and Hepburn," he compliments. You smile shyly, and your cheeks flush with color. Arvin retakes your hand, bringing you to the nearby park bench. 

"I wanted to ask you something," Arvin says, fidgeting with his hands. "With everything that happened... I know that your 'momma isn't going to let you see me anymore. Probably not for a while at least, and I don't want that. I know I don't say it often, but I love you. I love you a lot, Y/N, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life," he felt the bubble of nervous go from his stomach and rise into his chest. He couldn't help but second guess. You were both so young, but then again, most people got married around your age, maybe a little older right? He let out a breath and calmed himself, grabbing the ring from his jacket pocket. "I want you to marry me. I know it's soon, but it'd make your parents happy, and I want to be with you."   
You looked at the ring he had in his hand in shock, but Arvin could tell from the smile on your face that you were happy, and soon enough, you threw your arms around him with a "Yes!"   
For a moment, everything was perfect. The two of you sharing each other's warmth, Arvin is sliding the simple ring onto your finger, and nothing lousy stirring in your thoughts. It didn't seem like anything wrong could touch you two, but still, it did, and it started that night. 

You had the head home soon after that. You never told Arvin what happened with the preacher. After Arvin proposed, it didn't cross your mind. You spent the car ride laughing, listening to music, and talking about how you thought everyone would react to your news. The two of you drove to the school first to pick up Lenora, and you thought about if you should take your ring off or not. You were so distracted that you didn't realize Lenora was running out of the school for the third time this week. Frowning, you open the door for her, and she jumped into the car.   
"Y/N?" she asks, shutting it, but the noise of Gene and his gang coming out hollering stopped you from talking. Arvin drove off in a hurry glaring at the boys. They'd did their time, soon, he thought. Lenora noticed your ring, but you and Arvin had decided it'd be best not to tell her yet. Lenora wasn't known for her secret-keeping skills, but a part of you thought she knew.   
You went to the cemetery with Lenora, all three of you traveling up to her mother's grave. Arvin couldn't help but notice your troubled looks the longer you stayed. He didn't ask why, though. It must've been about your momma, he told himself; it was getting a little dark out already. 

So he drove you home after that. None of you expected to see the sheriff outside your home, though. Did she report you missing? You thought. That'd be a little extreme. As you stepped out of the car hastily, Arvin promised to stay behind in case something terrible broke out. Your breath hitched when you realized why the Sherriff was here. Arvin stepped out of the car at the terror on your face and felt the anger boil inside of him.

"W-H-O-R-E" was spelled out in red paint on your daddy's car. There were egg yolk and shells scattered across your yard and a broken window. Running up the hill, your mother saw you and pulled you into a hug. "Who did this?" you asked, tears pricking at your eyes.   
Your mother didn't acknowledge Arvin, who had ditched his cigarette and was now behind you, fists balled up. Your mother shook her head. "It was just some criminal boys," she pulls away from you, but her hands still tightly grasp your arms. "Where have you been?"  
Arvin stomped off. He knew what 'rascal boys' your mother was talking about, and he wasn't going to sit here and let them torture you too. He ignored the bicker as he got into his car, hurling the door shut.   
"Is she okay?" Lenora asks softly.  
"She'll be fine. Let's get home."

When Arvin dropped off Lenora at the church the next day, he didn't stay with her. Your momma had kept you home, so when he returned to the school, he was just by his lonesome. Waiting patiently outside in his car, the rain poured down while he kept watching for Tommy Matson. Arvin kept himself busy by going through his pack of cigarettes, anxious about what he would do. It had to be done, though; he kept telling himself. Eventually, Tommy Matson came out with a girl, the two headings off to the bus to mess around. It made him angrier. How could he judge you when he was doing the same thing? Arvin made a noise outside of the bus, and Tommy came to check on it, not seeing Arvin before he pulled him out of the bus and brought down the tire iron on his back.   
After that, he set after Orville and Gene. Both of them were in the garage working on the car. Gene didn't see him coming when he slammed the car hood over him. He grabbed Orville and punched him a few times, rubbing the twinkie in his face before turning back to grab Gene, who tried to run off. Kicking Gene, he made sure to keep him down while he wrestled the brown paper bag over his head. If it weren't for the bag, Gene would be able to feel Arvin's breath. "You touch my sister or my girl again, and I'll kill you."   
Arvin left Gene there, and he saw Orville run off after he left the garage. He figured Orville helped Gene; he was wrong though, it'd take several hours until someone found him. The paper bag still on his head. Arvin wouldn't lie: he didn't feel bad about it.   
Arvin went and got Lenora from the cemetery, apologizing about how he missed it, but she didn't seem to mind. She didn't notice the blood on his knuckles either. Lenora seemed happier. "I know you probably got other things you'd like to do, so; I can come to the church on my own now."  
Arvin didn't ask any questions about the sudden revelation from Lenora. He didn't realize how bad a mistake that was in the moment because in only a few more months, things would get worse than they ever had been, and he wouldn't have Lenora to confide in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part is finally done! Thanks for the comments some of you left. I wanted to get this out sooner, but I got caught up with school (I'm doing online, and my school district hastily put the program together, so everyone is confused about how it works), but I sat down for a few hours and wrote this all out. I hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to leave a comment if you did!


	3. The Gaze of God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short but I'm gonna try and get chapter four up quickly. Sorry for the wait!

The room was filled with tension. You sat in your nicest clothes, shifting around in your seat. Arvin places his hand on your knee, and you can feel it's warmth through your tights; you stop turning and look over at him. Arvin had his shoulders pulled back and back straight. He looks uptight and uncomfortable. He never sat like that. His jaw was clenched, too, as his gaze went back to the man you were both waiting to speak. 

Reverend Teagardin. He grabbed his cup of coffee and brought it to his lips before clearing his throat. "So," he began, "You two would like to get married? That would help things, I'm sure."  
Arvin scoffs but bites his tongue. He doesn't want to be here, but your parents required it until they'd let him marry you. Arvin nods. "Yes, sir."  
Reverend Teagardin looks over to you. "I suppose that would be nice. Of course, your families asked me to talk to you two before. Marriage is a big deal, you know, that's a lot of commitment for people so young."  
"People are age get married all the time," you say, "and Arvin and I have been together for a while. We love each other too."   
Teagardin nods. "Well, that is important. It's just sometimes you'll want to explore other people," his gaze was on you as he said it. You look away from him, and Arvin gives a glance to you. He didn't like how he said that.   
"I don't want anyone else," Arvin says quickly. "Never will."  
A small smile finds itself on your face but quickly fades away as the Reverend stares you both down. "Well, are there any concerns you two have about marriage?"  
You and Arvin look at each other for a moment before he speaks up. "I mean, there's obviously money, but my Grandma is gonna let us live with 'er. We have a little hutch on our property, and I'm gonna fix it up to have our own space. And I have a job lined up in the summer, so we'll have our own money."  
Reverend Teagardin nods, "That sounds like a good plan, Mr. Russell," the compliment sounds forced. "Y/N, do you have any plans after marriage? Do you two want children? I know many young couples like you often get married under specific circumstances, so maybe we'll see one soo-"  
"Shut your mouth, you bastard!" Arvin lurched up at Reverend Teagardin. "Y/N ain't knocked up! We just love each other, that's all."  
Reverend Teagardin stood up, "I'd watch yourself. If you hadn't pulled this little stunt, the two of you wouldn't even be seeing each other."  
Arvin shook his head and went to round the table, but you grabbed his arm. "Both of you stop it!" you stand up and look at Reverend Teagardin. "Now, all three of us know we don't actually need your permission to get married. If we wanted to, we could go up to the courthouse and have it over within five minutes, so what's gonna happen is we're going to walk out, and you'll tell our parents you think this is a great idea. If you don't, I'll tell 'em about you watching Arvin and me that night. Understood?"

Reverend Teagardin gave you a stern look before shifting his gaze to Arvin. With a huff, he nods. You and Arvin leave, not stopping to talk to your parents. While you wait outside, Arvin grabs you and brings his lips to yours. "I don't think I've ever seen that side of you, sweetheart," he kisses you again. "I gotta say I like it."

You giggle. "Well, you better stay in line, mister, or you'll see her again!" 

Arvin laughs with you and brings you back close to him. Holding you gently, he wasn't usually this affectionate. After he proposed, though, you could see a change. He seemed happier.   
"Y/n! Come on, we have to get home!" you heard your mother yell from the other side of the parking lot. 

You pull away from Arvin. "I love you," you tell him. "I'll see you at dinner." Arvin nods at you and quickly kisses your hand before letting you leave. His grandmother and Lenora came up to him, and they all went to the car. Arvin couldn't help but notice how Lenora kept looking at herself in the mirror. She had been acting different lately. Arvin saw her dressing nicer, putting more time into her hair, and she even borrowed a light lipstick from you. 

It wasn't like Lenora to act like that. She didn't like makeup beforehand, and she had been spending less time at home with Arvin and Grandma. Maybe she had gotten a boyfriend, but Arvin swore she would've mentioned it to him. 

As they rounded the corner, Arvin couldn't help but smile as he went inside. The two of you were getting married, and soon enough, you'd be living together. It was everything he wanted. In all honesty, it was the only thing he actually knew he wanted. You were the one thing he's so sure about. It was Saturday, so he didn't have to worry about school or anything like that, just get his chores down and head to work around twelve. His Grandma made him clean up a little, she wasn't the type to just make Lenora do it, but as he swept the floor, he heard something wrong. 

Vomiting. Arvin pushed open the bathroom door to see Lenora on her knees in front of the toilet, her head laying on it as she moaned in pain. "Arvin," she said softly, her throat hurt too much to speak loudly, "Go get Grandma."   
Arvin quickly found his grandmother bringing her back. Lenora assured her she just had an upset stomach, maybe even a stomach bug, and so she went off to bed. His grandmother made Lenora tea, and by the time he left and came home from work, Lenora was back in her room working at her homework.   
"You feeling better?" Arvin asks.   
"A little," she said. Lenora looks over at Arvin and gives him a small smile. "So, you happy to be engaged?"   
Arvin smiled like an idiot and shuffled on his feet, embarrassed. "You know I am," he mumbled.   
Lenora laughs. "Isn't it excited? I bet Y/N is excited to pick out her wedding dress. I can't wait to see it."  
"Don't have to wait long. She's gonna take you when she tries them on, you know?"   
Arvin hadn't seen Lenora smile so bright. "Really?" she asks excitedly.   
"'Course! She'll probably make you 'er maid of honor too."   
Lenora was ecstatic. 

Though it didn't last too long because by the time you came by, she was throwing up her stomach again, but Arvin felt at peace for the moment. His sister seemed happier than ever, Grandmother was excited about the wedding too, and he was gonna spend the rest of his life with the woman of his dreams. Nothing could bring him down. 

Then two months later came. Arvin held his wife's hand, both dressed in black as rain poured just as fast as his grandmother's tears. It wet the ground that his sister lay underneath. Unspoken and nonmoving. With one thing on his mind. It wasn't the same thing that plagued his mind two months ago. It wasn't a wedding, you, his sister, or his future. It was a prayer. A simple one at that. One that you shared. 

A prayer for the right time.


	4. Looking Back and Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Russell family face tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to deal with suicide, and while I'm sure you've watched the movie and know about it if your reading this, I want to put a warning. It's mentioned multiple times (too many times to spot warn it) so please keep that in mind. Sexual assault, statuary rape, and teenage pregnancy is also brought up.

It was raining in Coal Creek. Not just on the land, but on a family in the small town. The Russell family had never felt such a fitting tone. Together they all surrounded a grave. It was just them, no preacher, no friends - just the now one size smaller family. 

Y/N clutches Arvin's arm tightly, letting a few tears slip as she felt his arm flex under his grip. One look at him and anyone, whether or not they knew the stern boy, could tell that he was trying not to fall apart. Trying to be a man like he was raised to be. His grandmother kept a firm grasp on the tissues in her hand. The girls were dressed in black dresses and the boys in their usual shirts and slack pants.

"Lord... there are just some things we can't understand," the grandmother said weakly. "You take her into your arms..."  
"There ain't even somebody sayin' prayers."  
Arvin looks over at you and then to the ground, sniffling. Turning your head to face him, you nuzzle your nose into his cheek in the hope to console him. Arvin was never the 'talk about my feelings' type.  
Arvin unwraps his entangled arm from yours, taking a few steps forward and grabbing his grandma. After saying a few more words, you all left, walking back without Lenora's soft voice that had been lost from your lives for just a few days. It felt like you were waiting for it. To hear her again, to feel her presence, but then nothing came. During the car ride that felt like an eternity, you couldn't help but wonder. 

How did this happen?

**Two weeks earlier.**

"Is Lenora feeling any better?" you ask Arvin as the two of you eat lunch in the cafeteria. Lenora hadn't come into school for the second time this month. At first, you and Arvin just figured she had a twenty-four-hour bug, then the flu, but then it went away, and now it's come back. No one else in the Russell family had gotten sick - so all you are now is confused.  
"No," Arvin says somberly. He shakes his head and pushes the food around on his plate, "I don't know what's wrong with 'er. She's been in bed off and on all week."   
You put your hand on his back, not even realizing it, and rub it softly. You sigh, "Maybe Lenora should go to the doctor again?" Arvin shrugs. A fight across the room catches the two of your attention, but the teachers soon swarm the fighters. Turning back to him, you smile wide "My momma said she'd take me to look at dresses this week."  
Arvin perks up immediately. "Really?" he asks happily. He smiles, one of his rare ones, and the look in his eyes makes your heart swell.   
You laugh, "Yes," you tell him. "We're going to go to Parkersburg. There's a little shop that my mom got 'er holiday dress from; I always thought it was gorgeous."  
Arvin grabs your hand, "Hopefully, Lenora feels better by then. She misses you."   
"How 'bout I come over later? I could do her makeup and just cheer 'er up."  
"I can drive you over before I 'gotta go to work," Arvin suggests, "I don't mind." You nod to Arvin, and then the lunch bell rings, quickly you turn to him and press your lips to his cheek. He starts to get red as he laughs a little as you dart away from him. 

Arvin drives you to his house after school. You called your mom before, and she was, surprisingly, okay with it. So you went inside the home. Lenora lit up when she saw you. She hadn't seen anyone for a while because of sickness, and she was thrilled to ask you questions about the wedding. 

"Do you guys' know when your gonna have it?" she asked, probably her twentieth question.   
"No, not yet," you let out a little laugh. "We haven't planned it much. I mean, we don't have any money so we can't do much. Plus, you know Arvin, he's more a simple kind of guy. I thought we'd have the reception at the church, invite my family from out of town. Then we'd go up to that old hall they have just out of town, the one they have the school dances at - and we'd have the reception there."  
Lenora nods, making you pull her hair as you braid it. "That sounds nice," she sounds like she's dreaming. "I can't wait to be married. I can't wait to be in love... I thought I was," she mumbles the last part.   
You perk up, turning your head, you lean down, "Lenora Irene Lafayette! Did you just say you thought you were in love with a boy?"   
She laughs nervously, "No! I-I just meant... it was just a crush! Just a crush, that's all!"   
"Well," you smile at her, turning her to face you, "Who was it?"  
She shakes her head. "It's no one you'd know..."  
"There's only, like, two hundred people here, Lenora. Chances are known 'im."  
"It was just a boy from school, but... he turned out to be wrong. I don't think he's as nice as I thought he was," her voice is quiet. Almost as if she's scared to say it. You frown and caress her cheek.  
"Well, he's an idiot. Anyone that can't see how wonderful you are, Lenora, you just brush 'em off. Because they obviously can't be good."   
Lenora nods. "Can we keep this between us two? I don't want Arvin to find out," she pleads.  
"Course," you cut her off with a laugh, "All I need is he getting arrested for beating some boy up, again, my momma just got alright with him after that night." 

You went dress shopping a week later. One week before Lenora died. She had just started feeling better. Physically, and it seemed in spirits. You hadn't told Arvin about what Lenora told you. Your mother drove you out to Parkersburg with Lenora in tow. She was the only bridesmaid - maid of honor, specifically - near so, it was just the two of you.   
The shop was small, but it fit enough dresses that you knew you'd be here for a while. Lenora pulled dresses off the rack along with your mother. Almost all the ones they pulled were conservative, with little accessories, and bland. There was one that seemed to call to you. 

It was long, with a see-through train and short, slightly puffy sleeves. Lace was all over it. It reminded you of something a princess would wear in a Disney movie. "Now we can't afford that," you heard your mother call. "It almost two hundred dollars! Probably all that lace..."   
You turn to see your mom with a hopeful smile, "Arvin gave me some extra money. Fifty. Wouldn't that put us just a little over what we need for it?"   
Your mom pursed her lips. "Well, yes, but you should try on some other options first. Maybe you'll find something less expensive and have more money for the wedding."   
You nod and take some of the dresses into the dressing room. "Hey, Lenora?" you call out.  
"Yes?" you hear almost immediately.   
"I thought you could try on some bridesmaid dresses. Do wanna go get some? We can use the same room," you suggest. She quickly says yes, and you hear her wander off. Soon enough, her footsteps come back, and a soft knock hits the dressing room door.   
You open it letting her in. "I like that purple one." 

Something is off while Lenora tries on the other dress. She keeps staring at herself in the mirror, and as you look over, you see her palming her stomach. You walk over to her and place a hand on her shoulder, "Something wrong?"   
Lenora shakes her head. "I think I've gained weight... I'm usually a three, but all the dresses feel tighter now. 'Round my stomach, 'specially."   
You shake your head, "You look fine, Nora. It's probably nothing. Your grandma kept force-feeding you soup when you were, sick remember," you joke, and she smiles, "it's probably from that. It'll go away." 

Lenora nods and tries on the purple dress, both of you agreeing it looks the best. She sits as you come to the last dress. None of them interesting you enough to leave. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Lenora asks. 

"'Course." 

She shuffles her feet, "Do you think... do you... Have you and Arvin talked about having a baby? I just, I mean, when people get, married they usually have babies."  
You shake your head, "We spoke about it but, we don't got enough money for that. Plus, my momma and daddy might be letting us get married, but that doesn't mean they're happy. My daddy would probably shoot Arvin, I showed up pregnant, and I think momma would die of embarrassment. You know how my parents are," you ramble. 

You never noticed how Lenora kept nodding her head, not until after. Or how her face slowly drained of the small smile and became anxious. Or how she kept fidgeting. 

**Present Time**

You can't help but think of those things after; the thought stays in your mind. You replay the picture of how she acted, the words she spoke, every little glance, and inflection until you've thought of everything. 

Could you have done more? 

No matter how much you overthink it, you still can't understand. You still can't find a reason. Why would Lenora take her own life?   
You went home with Arvin that night. Your parents understood; Arvin needed you. He didn't make any attempt to hid the fact you'd be sleeping in the same bed. So there you sat, thinking of the past, in your nightgown while you waited for him. You turn your ring around your finger as you wait. The floorboards creek and you hear Arvin come before he even steps into the room.   
"Grams is sleepin'," he says tiredly. He walks over and practically falls onto the bed, his head lying on your stomach as he wraps his arms around you. You brush his messy hair out of his face.   
"Are you okay?" you ask quietly. Arvin nods. His body is stiff, and the look on his face is the definition of exhaustion. You frown and move one of your hands to his back, rubbing it softly while the others hold onto his neck. "It's okay if you're not okay, you know that, right?"   
Arvin shrugs before burying his face into your stomach. You keep rubbing his back and mumble some comforting words to him. "I just..." his voice quivers, "I can't believe she's gone. I don't understand this. Why?" his voice cracks into a sob. You hold him tighter, but he pulls away, wiping away his tears and going to leave. You quickly get up and grab his arm. As he looks back at you, he falls apart again, "Why her? She was so good! Why did this happen?"   
You grab his face, "I don't know, Arvin, but... I know I'm here for you. I know I want to be here for you. So let me, please. Don't run away. I want you to stay; I want you to let me hold you. Let me do that."  
He shakes his head softly but lets you pull him into a hug nonetheless. His arms wrap around your waist as he sobs into your shoulder, and you stumble back onto the bed. Arvin lies his head on your chest, and you hold him the entire night, and even though it was one of the hardest nights you face together, it was somehow also the most peaceful. The sound of your heartbeat, your arms wrapped around him, and the two of you sharing warmth. And as he falls asleep after crying all his tears out, he can't help but look up at his future wife and mumble three words as his eyes close for the night. 

"I love you." 

The next day Arvin woke up, still in your arms, and had to get up for work. You asked him not to go, but he knew he had to. He had to get money somehow. It depended on what he'd be doing on if it'd be hard labor. Sometimes it was just moving stuff, building, and other times it was lifting up heavy shit. 

He left at six and wouldn't get off until twelve, and as he did, he found a sheriff waiting. Holding an envelope with an announcement that Arvin couldn't ignore and as he stormed back into the house, immediately looking for you and let you know what it said. You and Arvin knew something had to be done. Something had to be said: and so you told him the truth of what the preacher did. And that sealed the fate of three people in Coal Creek. 

The preacher, Arvin, and you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, school has been stressing me. Don't forget to comment and give kudus!

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my Tumblr (also @blueuonia). This is also my first fic so if it's not that good, go easy on me. I left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger because I got an idea for a sequel so let me know if you'd like that. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
